Writing Off Men

So, I'm writing off the men in my life... one by one.

I guess I'll discuss this in chronological order. The first one is the guy I've had a thing for off and on for the last couple of years. We had Christmas dinner together, well... he was there, I was there. Etc. Once again he was incredible with the baby. The baby that he holds as his rationale for us not being together. Anyway, after Christmas dinner I texted him. I told him that I couldn't continue to spend time with him if we weren't going to be together. I needed time to get over him. He wanted to discuss it. I'm not really sure why it upset him that "I thought I'd just say my piece and be done with it" because it wasn't meant to hurt him. I just didn't want him to think that I was upset with him. But he seemed upset that I didn't think he would want to talk about it. Well... we discussed it over the next several hours. Nothing changed.. it was the same conversation that we always have. I have feelings for you, I want to be with you... You have a baby, I deserve more than a ready made family... Your baby comes first... it doesn't have to be this way... And then I hurt his feelings. I told him I was too good for him because he had to think twice about being with me. That really pissed him off, and he can be mean. Next thing I knew I was in tears - conceding that he was too good for me, he was right - I was wrong, etc. He's very persuasive, and can be very mean when he's hurt. Anyway, we made peace, and today I dropped off a christmas card for him, and left it at that.

Then Teddy... I filed for child support today. He has yet to step up and be a man, and so I gave up on him. The thing is, he keeps trying to bribe me "I can help you more than you realize if you just back off and give me some space." Yet, he never actually does. So, I filed. I didn't want to flat out tell him I filed for child support - because I knew it would upset him and he would blame me. So, I picked a fight so he wouldn't be surprised when he got the paperwork. Basically, I called him out on all of his BS over the last two months and told him I was done putting up with his shit. So...

there it is.