She should have been mine...

That was said to me yesterday. A guy that I had a crush on during my deployment told me yesterday that my daughter should have been his. That he had feelings for me the whole time, but neither of us did anything about it. After talking to him I felt regret, for not speaking up and for letting something get away. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten all hung up on Daphne's dad... but then I wouldn't have Daphne.

On the other hand, listening to him made me sad. It also made me realize that a lot of men probably experience the same emotions during pregnancy. You see, he's married and expecting his first child. At the time that we were enamored with one another he was single, but upon returning from Iraq he hooked up with an ex, she got pregnant, and they got married. More noble than my ex, that's for sure. Teddy left me when I was 7 months pregnant, his wife is 6.5 months pregnant. I think men, when confronted with so much change in so little time, I think they wonder what if. What if we weren't together? What if I had told this other person how I feel? What if we weren't having a baby? The good men drive on, the weak ones give in to the temptation of freedom. So much of what this man said sounded like Teddy, when he left. The difference is he wants to stay for his child. So, I encouraged him. Told him it was likely to get worse before it got better, and he should stick it out.

But what if I had said something...?