Around a year later...

I started this blog a year ago for my friends and family that were far away, so that they could experience my pregnancy along with me. My ex wasn't supportive of it, and since I already had a private personal blog I decided not to continue this one at that time. Now I'm starting over... on many levels. Most of you reading this will already know my story - but for those new people I'm going to provide a brief synopsis. Before I do so, I'm going to say this: I offer no explanations or apologies. I may offer explanations so my readers can understand my choices, but they aren't to justify my actions. I am no longer ashamed of what I have done, and my life is payment enough. I love my daughter and I'm happy, but our life isn't easy.

I found out I was pregnant in Iraq, I had been dating the father of my child for about two months and was convinced we would spend the rest of our lives together. I was madly in love with him, and couldn't imagine my life without him. We came home in december, when I was approximately two months pregnant. We moved in together, and things were going great. Then he went through a change when I was about 7 months pregnant. I wasn't the only one to notice or comment on it... but I was the only one to suffer from it. He decided then that he no longer wanted to be with me. He also decided he didn't want to be a part of his daughters life. I had the child, took a job across the country, and shortly after she was born we moved to a new state and a new job. Her father changed his mind about his involvement, and has seen her three times now.

I've chosen to start this blog again, mostly as an outlet for myself. Though I am able to comfortably provide for my daughter and I, it's a very difficult life - and I hope that my story will convince others (especially young women) to think about the consequences of their actions. My daughter is the light of my life, but there are times that I regret not having the freedom and the ability to achieve some of my other dreams. My little girl has to come first.