Pregnancy

I hated being pregnant. I despised being pregnant. I was fat, uncomfortable, and lonely. I blamed my baby for losing the best thing to ever happen to me. He's said as much.

I hate watching t.v., and seeing couples that love each other faced with an unplanned pregnancy. The guy is always shocked, but comes to terms - gets excited, stands by his woman, and loves the baby in the end. On T.V. and in movies the guy always comes around. But it doesn't happen like that. They don't come around, and 36 hours into labor you're crying - in as much emotional pain as physical pain - and cursing him for putting you in that position.

As much as I've said that I don't want to have any other children, the idea of loving someone so much that we make the mutual decision to share our love and bring another child into the world is appealing. But I don't want another unplanned pregnancy. It's too painful.