Smiles and Kisses

Yesterday I was tired and stressed. I went home grumpy, snapped at my husband, snapped at my kids, and went about fixing dinner. Once C was sleeping and D was eating my husband asked what was wrong. For about the 30th time. I vented out everything to him, about how I'm afraid of my baby, I avoid him, I look forward to going to work, and I feel guilty about it. He was very supportive. I still didn't feel better though. I told him I needed him to be a "cheese dick" (his term for sappy/romantic). See, I often feel like he married me for Daphne. I have a lot of insecurity about that. So I told him I needed to feel like he loved me as much as he loved the kids right now. He laughed and told me we could get rid of the kids right now! Joking of course! I felt better after that, and passed out early while trying to put D to bed.

Today has been wonderful so far. I had orientation for D's new daycare, and while I was there I stopped in to love and cuddle C. He was crying when I walked in, but as soon as he heard my voice he stopped. I went and took him from the woman trying to feed him, and though he didn't eat, he cuddled up in my arms. I talked to him, and looked in his little face, and my precious boy just lit up. He grinned and cooed and squawked and laughed, and he never took his eyes off of me. He nestled against my jacket, he played with the fur (faux!) on my hood, and just looked happy to see me. I don't remember D doing this. I don't remember her looking joyful just because I was there. Of course, I could get her to smile and laugh, even this young... but it was always prompted. She also wasn't as vocal as he is. He made my day... I might have to visit him at lunch more often.

My little bull dog. :)